Stabby stab.

Christapor Yaacoubian
2 min readNov 6, 2020
Time heals small wounds.

I live in an apartment or condo as they call it here or flat as we call it back home with 5 other people. The problem is that it’s a 2 bedroom “some will call it a 2.5 bedroom” the owner (Andrew) tells me. I would not. A solarium to me is the perfect room to put 2 chairs and a small table to play chess, read a book or have a coffee and take in the views.

NOT A FUCKING BEDROOM.

It barely has room for the chairs let alone for a bed or for a person to live there. Then there’s the den about the same if not shorter in length but wider in berth, still cannot house a person. It has no windows and the door opens into the area itself. One would need a Murphy bed just to enter and exit while living there. A hangover or diarrhoea will make this situation much much worse. Harry Potter was luckier.

I have no lounge room. Others call it their bedroom. I call them assholes.

I rarely use the toilet. I shower at the gym, which is convenient as I’ve found myself swimming almost everyday.

I’ve been to the gym for a grand total of once. But then I immediately stabbed myself separating frozen berries (for a post gym smoothie), typical.

Being stabbed hurts. But I found the inconvenience was the real issue for me. Having a knife inside your hand is just a pain in the ass. You have to clean and keep it dry. Bending sucks. Can’t work out. Working in a bar is harder. Extending your finger isn’t good for it as it separates the flap. I won’t get stitches as I’m a foreigner and that’ll be expensive, so it’ll take too long to heal. Super glue. I just remembered super glue. Apparently the US army help the invention of super glue to close up small wounds.

Don’t use super glue to stick limbs back together. It’s toxic at that level.

Minor cuts, stab wounds, sure! I’ll give it a go and let you know how it goes.

Looks like an ugly fava bean.

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Christapor Yaacoubian
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When I moved to Canada I needed someone to talk to, so I began talking to myself. I’ve got a backlog of thoughts. How soon will we hit the present?